Magical Accident
by Brain Chain
Summary: Pennsylvania, mother of over 3,000 children, is hosting a magic lesson. But, as all ways, Pittsburgh has to go and be a jerk. T for Pittsburgh's mouth. Yes, all the places mentioned are real.


The soft-haired boy lined up next to his little brother as their mother placed a giant bowl in front of the two and the rest of the kids interested in learning about family magic.

"Ok kids!~" the women cheered out, her big chocolate-colored Iggy-brows raised and a smile perched on her face, "Today we're going to make a simple concoction that can change someone to the opposite gender!~ It's quite simple really, and I, Pennsylvania, shall demonstrate how to do it while the rest of you watch!~" Philly shifted with excitement. He didn't exactly know how to do magic or anything like that, but he was bursting with more happiness than usual to see Gettysburg do it.

"Now everyone!~ Fill the bowl with water. When you're done, pick up either a piece of burned aloe if you're a guy, or acacia if you're a girl, chop it up and place it the water!~ Then when you're done, guys, take a piece of alfalfa and girls, get some allspice for your potion~" She moved to the side with the ingredients for females and picked up some pieces of plants, then returned to her bowl and did as she had told her children too.

"Now girls, take a pinch of basil and guys shall have a pinch of dried-up lemon balm. After you're done with that, take any other item in any amount that feels right to you. The important thing about magic is to make it _personal_. If it smells wonderful or looks like something you think you'd need or maybe you just get that _feeling_, then grab it! All I say is to make sure you don't use so much that it over-powers the aloe or acacia, since that's the main ingredient" There was a bunch of scurrying everywhere.

"And one more thing kids! When you're done, put a little anemone in it to make it temporary!"

* * *

"What should we get Tristen?~" The grey-eyed Civil War fighter looked to his eager sibling. He spoke not a word, but went straight for the avocado. It felt nice in his hand. He shifted its weight and skid it a few centimeters across the table, then nodded his head and passed it to Cody.

Cody's eyes scanned around to perhaps get a clue as to what he was supposed to do with the fruit.

"…You put it in the pot,"

"What?~"

"…You place the avocado fruit in the pot. …Perhaps you could turn the boiler on as well, so to heat the pot up,"

"Um, ok!~" Philadelphia's feet pounded down on the floor rhythmically to the source of where the foul odder emanated.

It fell in with a _plop!_ and a _splash!_ He rotated the dial to a fair degree and returned to his brother, whose arms were filled with some more parts.

"Don't we need some more stuff to put in?~"

Tristen paused, then shook his head, "…No, we shall make-do with these for the time-being,"

Cody shrugged, "Well ok!~"

They went back to their station, the younger of the two pacing carefully and fully aware of his surroundings, while the older lifting himself into the air and plummeting back down.

Just then the door swung open to reveal another brother with dark grey hair to match his sweater, jeans that had a rip every few seems, and glossy eyes that almost immediately fell on the energetic one, scuffling his sneakers over in that direction.

"Hey! Gay-Ass! Just what the f8ck do you think you're doin?"

"Oh!~ Hi Pittsburgh!~ I was just helping Tristen with some magic!~"

"You f8cking retard! You'll screw him up with peppy girl sh*t!"

"What are you talking about?~"

"…Please sease your bickering brethren, I must concentrate,"

"Narcisse!" Penny sternly shouted, "Are you torchering you're brother again?"

"No! Whatever! I'm ditching this gay place! You comin Trist?"

After a second of starring into the rim of the bowl, seemingly seaking its secrets, the magic-user shook his head.

"Whatever. You know where I'll be. Call me or something. See ya!" He started to make an exit, but only got as far as to his sister, Lancaster, before the mother of many appeared.

"Narcisse! Exactly _what_ did you say?"

"Nothing! Jeez woman! Get off my case!"

"_What?!_"

"I said CHILL. THE F8CK. OUT! I'm outta here! See ya!" He flicked his hand just as Lancaster closed her eyes, satisfied with a job-well-done. She wasn't particularly fond of magic, but she did love to create food-like objects. Unfortunately for her, the "man" next to her was not. His palm had landed directly on it and had knocked its contents all over the cement floor, _and_ the occupant behind it.

The room was filled with one unified gasp.

"Mom!" Intercourse screamed, rushing over to see their mo- er, dad- with balled-up fists and squinted eyes.

"Sarah…Please tell me you added the anemone already…"

Lancaster froze. York, her tall, skinny, white-haired twin of whom was next to her, shakily shook her head.

"NARCISSE EMMANUELLE JONES!"

"M-mom…W-we'll just u-use o-one of ours…!" Forty Fort chimed in a raspy voice, much unlike his typical strong, protective one.

"YOU CAN'T! THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU GUYS TO ADD THE ANEMONE!"

"I-I'm s-sorry Mom…" Sarah whispered, for each and every one of them in the room was terrified. Even the ones just as terrible as sensing the mood as their grandpa knew to be scared.

But especially Pittsburgh.

"H-haha…! M-maybe n-now y-you'll b-be a-a l-little l-less g-girly…!" He laughed nervously and bolted a million miles an hour toward the door.


End file.
